Hi Lance! You do a great job characterizing Anastasia - I can perfectly picture a young, energetic, vivacious student going out and making things happen. I also like the details about her work, like the title of the book. And I totally hadn't guessed until I read the author's note that this was the story about Ailbe! You did a great job adapting the setting to something completely different. I would like to know more about Anastasia - why did she want to go to an Ivy League? Why does she want to become a psychologist? One suggestion I might make is to add just a little more detail to your homepage. Is there a theme that ties your portfolio together? If so, I'd like to hear about it there. Thank you for sharing!
First of all, I really enjoy your unique take on this story--it is super creative and intriguing! You did a great job of showing Anastasia's mindset about her university and her career and how this mindset helps her become incredibly successful. The pictures of wolves that you included are beautiful and tie in your story with the original nicely. One thing I would recommend would be to add a title to the home page relating to the overall theme of your storybook and, similarly, adding a title to your first story. This will help readers become immersed easier in your stories! Also, in the second to last paragraph of your first story (not counting the author's note), it says "Anastasia had did not know" and I think it should say "Anastasia had not known" instead. But that is a really small thing--great job on your storybook!
First thing that I would like to say is that I loved the Witcher 3 music on your Introduction page. I really enjoyed the game and poured more hours than I would like to admit into it. I also really enjoyed your story and I liked how you put your own spin on it. I also enjoyed reading it because you are such a good writer. I also think that your authors note also complimented the story very nicely and allowed for me to have a better overall understanding of what it was about. I wish that I could critique, but you are such a better writer than I am that I am worried I would be incorrect. I really enjoy savior stories and this was no exception. I honestly can say that this is one of my favorite stories that I have read and I definitely will be checking back on your wall to see what else you write up. Keep doing what you're doing and I hope you are having a great semester!
This might be one of the best stories I've read in this course thus far. I really like the creative take you had on the original story, and you were very clever in your use of "Anastasia" as your main character. I also really like that you were able to put a modern twist on an ancient story. Turning the wolves into the psychology department was an astounding choice. My only feedback to you is to look at your sentence variance in some of your paragraphs. Sometimes, you use back-to-back-to-back simple sentences and sometimes you use repeated dependent clauses to open your sentences. At first, I wasn't sure what story you were basing yours off of, but your author's note tied the story together completely, and your summary of the original story was nice and succinct. Keep doing what you're doing! I'm excited to read the rest of your stories.
I really enjoy your twist on this story. I think it takes some true creativity to take a story that has been told the same way for years and make it your own. I really enjoyed exploring this story in the different light you provided for us all. You are obviously a great writer who like to explore and expand his own creativity.
Let me just start by saying that I am really impressed with the look of your website. I was really impressed with the aesthetics, and as a Witcher player, the music is fantastic. For me, is right up there with the Minecraft piano tunes.
I enjoyed your story of "Anastasia the Savior." The story is very well written, and I like the progression of Anastasia, which ultimately culminated in saving the university. I did not know, as you stated in your author's note that Anastasia means resurrection, that was a really nice detail to include in the story. I also liked how well you adapted this old tale into modern standards.
One of the criticisms I have for the story (and I am really nitpicking here), is that Anastasia seemed to have no real struggle here. Don't get me wrong, getting through school is really hard work, but it is also not the same as your parents abandoning you as a child in the woods. Besides she was really good in school. I think including or elaborating on her hardships could enhance the character.
Anyways, I liked the message of the story. It was really good. I look forward to reading more from you this semester.
Hey there Lance, You did a really great job at setting up your website. I can tell that you put a lot of time into setting it up and making it as enjoyable for the reader as possible. The banner image really draws in the readers attention and captivates the audience. I really enjoyed your takes on the stories, you were very creative and intriguing. You really did a great job of showing Anastasia’s mindset about the university and what her career was. The pictures that you included of the wolves was very beautiful and tied the story together perfectly. The Title you have used on each story is very captivating and gives the reader a glimpse into what they are about to read. The authors notes you have do a really good job at giving the reader insight into the original story that you based your stories off of.
First off thanks for sharing this story with us! Right off the bat I love how you modernized the story but maintained the original tone and moral. It’s always hard to take a story like this and make it your own, but I think you did a great job. Also, I love how you used the name Anastasia. It was a really cool touch to read your Author’s note and see that you used a name to reflect the theme of the story. Furthermore, I thought it was a good call to change the gender of the main character! I do have a question or two! I love the modernization, why did you choose to make Anastasia a psychologist? Was that a random career choice, or is that what you hope to do later in life?
Thanks again for sharing this story, best of luck the rest of the semester!
Hey Lance, just wanted to first say that I am commenting here for your introduction. It was really cool to get to know a little bit about you and I looked around at your stories also. I am amazed that English isn't your first language. I think it also is very important to remember and respect your roots. I want more than anything to give back to my cherokee community in any way I can. My grandpa often mentions how important is for our generation to preserve the culture as much as we can. Great job so far and looking forward to seeing some writing from you.
I really enjoyed reading your stories so far. They were both captivating and well written. Your website overall was easy to navigate and looked nice and consistent overall. I am not sure your photo for the first story really fit with it. I know it connects to the original but not really your retelling. You might consider adding another picture to tie them together. As for the story itself, I loved how you kept the same theme but changed the setting, characters, and plot. It made it completely different and unique. Your second story kept some of the familiar elements but the way you twisted the ending made it more interesting. The idea that both brothers plotted against the other one was creative and well-written. I enjoyed waiting to see who would win out in the end. Of course, you left it at a bit of a cliff hanger. I assume Osiris wins but perhaps Set still gets the best of him. Great job so far!
I must say I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your stories this week. I love the layout of your website. It is so easy to navigate and I love that you made your comment wall into a button. It makes it exponentially easier for the viewer to find and I might even use it on my own Storybook.
Your stories are very very good. I love how detailed you are able o make them. You definitely have a unique gift for storytelling. The first story you write reminded me alot of my own stories. My storybook is about feral children and I was definitely happy to see that your story was based off of the tale of Ailbe, who was raised by a wolf until eventually rescued. What a great story to base yours off of.
I think that if I were to give any advice, it would probably be to make the font a little bigger. Granted I do have horrible eyesight but think it might be easier to read if the font was a bit bigger. Once again, great job on your stories. I look forward to seeing how you wrap up the semester.
Hi, Lance, I like your website and stories. I am in the other class, but I always love to see what people in the other class are doing with their stories, so I can learn about different ideas and other types of stories that aren't based on India. One thing that I think you should be changing is where you place your pictures in the stories. The image should come before the author's notes and the bibliography. I always think of the bibliography as the last thing that should be read as it isn't as important as the picture is for the story. I like the choices that you have for each story as they go well with each other. I also like the way the website is constructed overall. There is very little white space on your website which is very good as you don't waste any space on the page.
This is my second time visiting your blog. In the spirit of this week, I will be mainly focusing on the images of your project. First of all, I want to point out that your banner image looks fantastic. I think the books create a good atmosphere for the blog. All of the other images in your stories are very fitting. I like how you have them in your banner, but you also include it at the end of the blog. The images are of great quality.
I do have a couple of recommendations to improve the visibility of the images in the banner. In some pages like in "Osiris and Set" and "Raja Kumari, Giat-Killer" the images cut off abruptly in the banner. You can change the banner size by clicking in the header type on the website options. I would recommend making the header bigger so that the images look better.
I enjoyed how well your stories are written and I also enjoy how your stories tie into the stories that you have read. I also enjoyed reading about how your characters develop throughout the story and I would suggest changing the banner photo. Maybe you could find a photo that goes better with your stories. I look forward to seeing the last story that you wrote and I also wish you luck with the last readings within the semester. good luck!
I just finished reading your last story and really enjoyed it. I love that you decided to switch the perspective of the story. Having the story from the viewpoint of a female really gives it such a refreshing and different feel. It's such a great way to change the story while still allowing it to keep it's original and initial meaning and themes.
Additionally, I really like the layout of your site and love the video you included on your homepage. It's a great way to draw in and keep an engaged audience. I think maybe it might be a good idea to out the video above the other information so it is the first thing people see when they navigate to your site.
Either way great job on your site! I really enjoyed reading your stories this semester and wish you the best in the future!
Hi Lance, I really like your storybook so far. The way you turn myths into realistic stories is super cool. I loved your first story, not only did you do a great job at writing a new story out of an old one, you also wrote a very inspiring story. I think many of us at OU are probably like Anastasia in the way that we dreamed of going to bigger schools but could not afford to go out of state. I thought that was smart of you to write about it and make a relatable story. I think your paragraph spacing is good and I enjoy the pictures you use. Your story about Rakumari was so interesting and educational. I love hero stories and I enjoyed reading this one. The picture was really cool too! Good job so far and good luck on finals! Wishing you the best, Ann
Hey Lance! I've very much enjoyed your storybook thus far. The story of Anastasia was an interesting retelling of one classical story, with a heartwarming premise and ending. The one that really caught my eye was your story of Osiris and Set. In it, you've taken two characters from Egyptian mythology and added a great deal of depth beyond "leader" and "schemer" to them, by showing where their motivations lie and how they act on them. I love how Osiris didn't immediately show himself, but waited to see how Set would operate with power instead - accomplishing the goal of not just surviving the "magic" show, but also keeping tabs on the cunning younger brother should something go awry. Your narrative imagery for the festival scene was bright and colorful, which was surprising in regards to the brief nature of the story. You've done really well on these! Best of luck with the end of the semester!
Hey Lance! For the last week of class I decided to look into the myth and folklore class. Yours was my first stop. Your portfolio has come together really nicely. The overall look is cohesive and the little details like the banner picture all add up. I appreciate that you took the extra time to add those details. I also noticed that you added music to your cover page. I think that was a nice detail the I did not see in many other projects. Your writing style is great. As the reader I didn't have trouble understanding your stories. One thing I noticed is that your images tend to be at the end of the story. I think in some cases having the image early on is nice also. I really enjoyed getting to see your work! Good luck with finals!!!
Hi Lance, I truly enjoyed your work and I loved the story of the Ogre. I found the idea of breaking the stereotype to be engaging as a reader. Humanity is often quick to judge and create stereotypes that are not fair to the rest of humanity. I have experienced this a lot within the gay community. I think that transgender people experience it the most as they are normally expected to pass as their cisgendered counterparts. I have also had experience with stereotypes. Masculinity is something that is normally used as a stereotype for many men and it is quite damaging depending on who is dealing with it. I found your project to be creative and well done. Good luck with finals and I hope that you get everything done this week that you need to do.
Hi Lance!
ReplyDeleteYou do a great job characterizing Anastasia - I can perfectly picture a young, energetic, vivacious student going out and making things happen. I also like the details about her work, like the title of the book. And I totally hadn't guessed until I read the author's note that this was the story about Ailbe! You did a great job adapting the setting to something completely different.
I would like to know more about Anastasia - why did she want to go to an Ivy League? Why does she want to become a psychologist?
One suggestion I might make is to add just a little more detail to your homepage. Is there a theme that ties your portfolio together? If so, I'd like to hear about it there.
Thank you for sharing!
Hi, Lance!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I really enjoy your unique take on this story--it is super creative and intriguing! You did a great job of showing Anastasia's mindset about her university and her career and how this mindset helps her become incredibly successful. The pictures of wolves that you included are beautiful and tie in your story with the original nicely. One thing I would recommend would be to add a title to the home page relating to the overall theme of your storybook and, similarly, adding a title to your first story. This will help readers become immersed easier in your stories! Also, in the second to last paragraph of your first story (not counting the author's note), it says "Anastasia had did not know" and I think it should say "Anastasia had not known" instead. But that is a really small thing--great job on your storybook!
Hey Lance,
ReplyDeleteFirst thing that I would like to say is that I loved the Witcher 3 music on your Introduction page. I really enjoyed the game and poured more hours than I would like to admit into it. I also really enjoyed your story and I liked how you put your own spin on it. I also enjoyed reading it because you are such a good writer. I also think that your authors note also complimented the story very nicely and allowed for me to have a better overall understanding of what it was about. I wish that I could critique, but you are such a better writer than I am that I am worried I would be incorrect. I really enjoy savior stories and this was no exception. I honestly can say that this is one of my favorite stories that I have read and I definitely will be checking back on your wall to see what else you write up. Keep doing what you're doing and I hope you are having a great semester!
Hi Lance!
ReplyDeleteThis might be one of the best stories I've read in this course thus far. I really like the creative take you had on the original story, and you were very clever in your use of "Anastasia" as your main character. I also really like that you were able to put a modern twist on an ancient story. Turning the wolves into the psychology department was an astounding choice. My only feedback to you is to look at your sentence variance in some of your paragraphs. Sometimes, you use back-to-back-to-back simple sentences and sometimes you use repeated dependent clauses to open your sentences. At first, I wasn't sure what story you were basing yours off of, but your author's note tied the story together completely, and your summary of the original story was nice and succinct. Keep doing what you're doing! I'm excited to read the rest of your stories.
Hi Lance,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy your twist on this story. I think it takes some true creativity to take a story that has been told the same way for years and make it your own. I really enjoyed exploring this story in the different light you provided for us all. You are obviously a great writer who like to explore and expand his own creativity.
Really good job!!
Hi Lance,
ReplyDeleteLet me just start by saying that I am really impressed with the look of your website. I was really impressed with the aesthetics, and as a Witcher player, the music is fantastic. For me, is right up there with the Minecraft piano tunes.
I enjoyed your story of "Anastasia the Savior." The story is very well written, and I like the progression of Anastasia, which ultimately culminated in saving the university. I did not know, as you stated in your author's note that Anastasia means resurrection, that was a really nice detail to include in the story. I also liked how well you adapted this old tale into modern standards.
One of the criticisms I have for the story (and I am really nitpicking here), is that Anastasia seemed to have no real struggle here. Don't get me wrong, getting through school is really hard work, but it is also not the same as your parents abandoning you as a child in the woods. Besides she was really good in school. I think including or elaborating on her hardships could enhance the character.
Anyways, I liked the message of the story. It was really good. I look forward to reading more from you this semester.
Hey there Lance,
ReplyDeleteYou did a really great job at setting up your website. I can tell that you put a lot of time into setting it up and making it as enjoyable for the reader as possible. The banner image really draws in the readers attention and captivates the audience. I really enjoyed your takes on the stories, you were very creative and intriguing. You really did a great job of showing Anastasia’s mindset about the university and what her career was. The pictures that you included of the wolves was very beautiful and tied the story together perfectly. The Title you have used on each story is very captivating and gives the reader a glimpse into what they are about to read. The authors notes you have do a really good job at giving the reader insight into the original story that you based your stories off of.
Great job on your story book!
Hey Lance!
ReplyDeleteFirst off thanks for sharing this story with us! Right off the bat I love how you modernized the story but maintained the original tone and moral. It’s always hard to take a story like this and make it your own, but I think you did a great job. Also, I love how you used the name Anastasia. It was a really cool touch to read your Author’s note and see that you used a name to reflect the theme of the story. Furthermore, I thought it was a good call to change the gender of the main character!
I do have a question or two! I love the modernization, why did you choose to make Anastasia a psychologist? Was that a random career choice, or is that what you hope to do later in life?
Thanks again for sharing this story, best of luck the rest of the semester!
Best,
- JD
Hey Lance, just wanted to first say that I am commenting here for your introduction. It was really cool to get to know a little bit about you and I looked around at your stories also. I am amazed that English isn't your first language. I think it also is very important to remember and respect your roots. I want more than anything to give back to my cherokee community in any way I can. My grandpa often mentions how important is for our generation to preserve the culture as much as we can. Great job so far and looking forward to seeing some writing from you.
ReplyDeleteHey Lance,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your stories so far. They were both captivating and well written.
Your website overall was easy to navigate and looked nice and consistent overall. I am not sure your photo for the first story really fit with it. I know it connects to the original but not really your retelling. You might consider adding another picture to tie them together.
As for the story itself, I loved how you kept the same theme but changed the setting, characters, and plot. It made it completely different and unique.
Your second story kept some of the familiar elements but the way you twisted the ending made it more interesting. The idea that both brothers plotted against the other one was creative and well-written. I enjoyed waiting to see who would win out in the end. Of course, you left it at a bit of a cliff hanger. I assume Osiris wins but perhaps Set still gets the best of him.
Great job so far!
Elyse
Lance,
ReplyDeleteI must say I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your stories this week. I love the layout of your website. It is so easy to navigate and I love that you made your comment wall into a button. It makes it exponentially easier for the viewer to find and I might even use it on my own Storybook.
Your stories are very very good. I love how detailed you are able o make them. You definitely have a unique gift for storytelling. The first story you write reminded me alot of my own stories. My storybook is about feral children and I was definitely happy to see that your story was based off of the tale of Ailbe, who was raised by a wolf until eventually rescued. What a great story to base yours off of.
I think that if I were to give any advice, it would probably be to make the font a little bigger. Granted I do have horrible eyesight but think it might be easier to read if the font was a bit bigger. Once again, great job on your stories. I look forward to seeing how you wrap up the semester.
Hi, Lance, I like your website and stories. I am in the other class, but I always love to see what people in the other class are doing with their stories, so I can learn about different ideas and other types of stories that aren't based on India. One thing that I think you should be changing is where you place your pictures in the stories. The image should come before the author's notes and the bibliography. I always think of the bibliography as the last thing that should be read as it isn't as important as the picture is for the story. I like the choices that you have for each story as they go well with each other. I also like the way the website is constructed overall. There is very little white space on your website which is very good as you don't waste any space on the page.
ReplyDeleteHi Lance,
ReplyDeleteThis is my second time visiting your blog. In the spirit of this week, I will be mainly focusing on the images of your project. First of all, I want to point out that your banner image looks fantastic. I think the books create a good atmosphere for the blog. All of the other images in your stories are very fitting. I like how you have them in your banner, but you also include it at the end of the blog. The images are of great quality.
I do have a couple of recommendations to improve the visibility of the images in the banner. In some pages like in "Osiris and Set" and "Raja Kumari, Giat-Killer" the images cut off abruptly in the banner. You can change the banner size by clicking in the header type on the website options. I would recommend making the header bigger so that the images look better.
I enjoyed how well your stories are written and I also enjoy how your stories tie into the stories that you have read. I also enjoyed reading about how your characters develop throughout the story and I would suggest changing the banner photo. Maybe you could find a photo that goes better with your stories. I look forward to seeing the last story that you wrote and I also wish you luck with the last readings within the semester. good luck!
ReplyDeleteShaun
Hi Lance,
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your last story and really enjoyed it. I love that you decided to switch the perspective of the story. Having the story from the viewpoint of a female really gives it such a refreshing and different feel. It's such a great way to change the story while still allowing it to keep it's original and initial meaning and themes.
Additionally, I really like the layout of your site and love the video you included on your homepage. It's a great way to draw in and keep an engaged audience. I think maybe it might be a good idea to out the video above the other information so it is the first thing people see when they navigate to your site.
Either way great job on your site! I really enjoyed reading your stories this semester and wish you the best in the future!
Hi Lance,
ReplyDeleteI really like your storybook so far. The way you turn myths into realistic stories is super cool. I loved your first story, not only did you do a great job at writing a new story out of an old one, you also wrote a very inspiring story. I think many of us at OU are probably like Anastasia in the way that we dreamed of going to bigger schools but could not afford to go out of state. I thought that was smart of you to write about it and make a relatable story. I think your paragraph spacing is good and I enjoy the pictures you use.
Your story about Rakumari was so interesting and educational. I love hero stories and I enjoyed reading this one. The picture was really cool too!
Good job so far and good luck on finals!
Wishing you the best,
Ann
Hey Lance!
ReplyDeleteI've very much enjoyed your storybook thus far. The story of Anastasia was an interesting retelling of one classical story, with a heartwarming premise and ending. The one that really caught my eye was your story of Osiris and Set. In it, you've taken two characters from Egyptian mythology and added a great deal of depth beyond "leader" and "schemer" to them, by showing where their motivations lie and how they act on them. I love how Osiris didn't immediately show himself, but waited to see how Set would operate with power instead - accomplishing the goal of not just surviving the "magic" show, but also keeping tabs on the cunning younger brother should something go awry. Your narrative imagery for the festival scene was bright and colorful, which was surprising in regards to the brief nature of the story. You've done really well on these!
Best of luck with the end of the semester!
Hey Lance!
ReplyDeleteFor the last week of class I decided to look into the myth and folklore class. Yours was my first stop. Your portfolio has come together really nicely. The overall look is cohesive and the little details like the banner picture all add up. I appreciate that you took the extra time to add those details. I also noticed that you added music to your cover page. I think that was a nice detail the I did not see in many other projects. Your writing style is great. As the reader I didn't have trouble understanding your stories.
One thing I noticed is that your images tend to be at the end of the story. I think in some cases having the image early on is nice also.
I really enjoyed getting to see your work!
Good luck with finals!!!
Hi Lance,
ReplyDeleteI truly enjoyed your work and I loved the story of the Ogre. I found the idea of breaking the stereotype to be engaging as a reader. Humanity is often quick to judge and create stereotypes that are not fair to the rest of humanity. I have experienced this a lot within the gay community. I think that transgender people experience it the most as they are normally expected to pass as their cisgendered counterparts. I have also had experience with stereotypes. Masculinity is something that is normally used as a stereotype for many men and it is quite damaging depending on who is dealing with it. I found your project to be creative and well done. Good luck with finals and I hope that you get everything done this week that you need to do.